The (Un)Official, Over-the-Top Guide to Warhammer: Vermintide 2

The world is ending, and it’s your job to stop it. You and three other misfits—known collectively as the Ubersreik Five (don’t ask about the math)—must hack, slash, and yell your way through waves of enemies, because apparently no one else in the Warhammer universe is competent.

Pro Tip: The story doesn’t matter. What matters is how many heads you can chop off before yours gets chopped off.

Here’s your team of overworked, underpaid apocalypse preventers:

Markus Kruber (The Human Tank)

What He Is: A grizzled Empire soldier who’s tired of everyone’s nonsense.

Playstyle: Kruber excels at tanking damage and smashing skulls with heavy weapons. He’s basically the dad of the group—if your dad loved halberds and yelling “FOR SIGMAR!”

Best Career: Foot Knight, because everyone loves a walking tank.

Pro Tip: If you see a teammate getting mobbed, Markus will yeet himself into the fray.

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Bardin Goreksson (The Angry Dwarf)

What He Is: A dwarf with a thirst for beer and a hatred for everything taller than him (which is most things).

Playstyle: Bardin is versatile: tank, ranged DPS, or melee powerhouse. Plus, he has access to flamethrowers. Who doesn’t love flamethrowers?

Best Career: Ironbreaker. It’s like a Foot Knight, but smaller and angrier.

Pro Tip: If Bardin isn’t complaining about ale, something is wrong.

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Kerillian (The Sassy Elf)

What She Is: A Wood Elf with an attitude problem and a knack for stabbing things.

Playstyle: High mobility and insane DPS, both ranged and melee. She’s also great at stealing kills and hogging ammo.

Best Career: Waystalker. Unlimited arrows = unlimited sass.

Pro Tip: Kerillian will insult you, but it’s only because she secretly cares. Probably.

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Sienna Fuegonasus (The Pyromaniac Wizard)

What She Is: A Bright Wizard who sets everything (including herself) on fire.

Playstyle: Burn first, ask questions later. Sienna specializes in ranged area-of-effect damage and “accidentally” killing her teammates.

Best Career: Pyromancer, because fireballs make everything better.

Pro Tip: Watch her Overcharge meter. Or don’t, and enjoy the fireworks.

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Victor Saltzpyre (The Zealous Inquisitor)

What He Is: A witch hunter who yells “HERETIC!” at anything that moves.

Playstyle: Versatile and deadly. Victor uses pistols, crossbows, and melee weapons to take down anything unholy. He’s the group’s edgy uncle.

Best Career: Bounty Hunter. Crits, headshots, and swagger for days.

Pro Tip: Saltzpyre is serious about his faith. Don’t make fun of his hat.

Combat: Chop, Smash, Repeat

You’ll face endless waves of enemies, ranging from hordes of Skaven to Chaos Warriors with the personality of a brick wall. Swing your weapons, shoot your guns, and pray to whatever god you believe in.

Pro Tip: Aim for the head. It’s like popping a balloon, but grosser.

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Special Enemies: The Party Crashers

Packmaster: Hooks you like a fish. Stay close to teammates, or you’re rat food.

Gutter Runner: Ninja rat that loves to ruin your day. Keep an ear out for its creepy laugh.

Ratling Gunner: Mini-gun-wielding Skaven. Hide behind cover or die gloriously.

Warpfire Thrower: Flaming death rat. Kill it before it roasts you.

Chaos Spawn: A giant, fleshy monstrosity. Pray.

Pro Tip: When in doubt, run screaming toward your team.

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The Levels: A Tour of Apocalypse Chic

Each map is a beautifully designed deathtrap filled with hazards, secrets, and the occasional horde. You’ll visit plague-ridden cities, haunted forests, and even Skaven strongholds.

Pro Tip: Don’t linger. The longer you stay, the angrier the director gets.

Vermintide 2 is a co-op game, which means relying on your teammates. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Stick Together: Wandering off is a death sentence. Unless you’re Kerillian.

Share Resources: Healing potions are for the wounded, not the greedy.

Revive Teammates: Even if they stole your kills, they’re still useful meat shields.

Pro Tip: Friendly fire is always on in higher difficulties. Don’t be that guy.

At the end of each mission, you’ll open a loot chest that contains weapons, charms, and trinkets. The quality of loot depends on your performance, which means you’ll probably get trash.

Pro Tip: RNGesus is cruel. Sacrificing Skaven won’t improve your odds, but it’s worth a try.

Because smashing rats is fun, that’s why. Warhammer: Vermintide 2 is chaotic, brutal, and hilariously over-the-top. You’ll scream, laugh, and accidentally blow up your teammates, but at least you’ll look cool doing it.

Pro Tip: If all else fails, blame the elf.

Now, grab your weapon, kiss your loved ones goodbye, and dive into the carnage. The End Times aren’t going to stop themselves!