How to abide by the law at stop lights

If you're approaching the stop light and are going to go through it, maintain speed and hit the gas.

Continue gaining speed and get into the lefthand lane. Prepare to swerve quite a bit.

Swerve into oncoming traffic and maintain 80 mph while laying on the horn as you're left of center because those plebs in the oncoming lane need to know their place.

Keep left of center in the oncoming traffic at 80 mph through the light. Boom. Instantly abided by the law and avoided a fine.

Have a police officer on the highway giving you the no speeding blues? Got a swath of land without barriers that divides opposing traffic, or, better yet, a double solid line with oncoming traffic next to you? NO PROBLEM! Jump into the dirt or the opposing lane and speed past those suckers at 80 mph!

Why does this work? I assume it's because, in this parallel universe, the opposing sides of traffic are different countries, jumping across the border into the other country on a quick tourist trip seems to give you limited diplomatic immunity.